Not so risky business

Oh, those crazy Bostonians. They'll fall for anything.

Seems that a furniture dealer in Boston is offering free furniture to anyone who buys it by April 16. Free with a catch that is -- only if the Red Sox win the World Series this year will anyone who buys the furniture actually get their money back. That's right, if the Red Sox win the World Series, Jordan's Furniture customers get their furniture free.

Since the Red Sox have won the World Series exactly once in 101 years, that's a pretty good bet by the furniture store. Forest full of trees have been cut down and turned into pulp so people could write all about the Red Sox curse, and then half as many again were chopped down in the last two years so everyone else could write about the end of the curse.

The store expects to sell $20 million worth of furniture between now and April 16. $20 million!!! That many Red Sox fans are foolish enough to expect the once-in-a-lifetime event will be repeated two years later. If this company had run this promotion every year since the World Series began and sold $20 million worth of furniture per year, it would be able to BUY the Red Sox, because it would be ahead by $2 billion.

Can anyone imagine a furniture company running this promotion in Cleveland?

"Hey, everybody, if you buy this sofa and love seat NOW, we'll give you a refund if the Indians win the World Series this year, so you'll get it ABSOLUTELY FREE!! What, no takers? OK, how about we'll give you a refund if the Browns win the Super Bowl this season!! Everybody here loves the Browns -- free furniture if you buy it now and then the Browns win the Super Bowl. What do you have to lose?? Still no one? OK, how about if the Cavs win the NBA Championship? Why is no one coming to buy furniture?"

There might be a sucker born every minute, but none of them are going to be buying into a promotion based on getting something free if a Cleveland team wins something. Might as well tell people that they can have the couch for free if they can lift it and throw it into the sun. No one short of Superman can do that.

Which sounds like just who the Indians, Browns, and Cavs need to lead them to a title.