Not so super, man

Sheesh, even Superman has to leave Cleveland to have a chance at a championship.

It's fitting that in the finale of the Eastern Conference Finals, Orlando Magic center Dwight "Superman" Howard turned in the signature performance of the series: 40 points, 14 rebounds, four assists, all while swatting away Cavs post players like they were merely Lex Luthor's henchmen. Clevelanders might have created Superman in 1932, but Dwight Howard co-opted the name and the cape and used his powers against us in 2009.

Here's hoping Dan Gilbert already signed that deal with the Chinese. Those investors might be having second thoughts after watching the Cavs go silently into that good night against the Orlando Magic Saturday night, bowing out in Game 6 of the Eastern Conference Finals. If the Chinese thought that 2009 would be the Year of the LeBron, well, welcome to Cleveland.

Call this one The Disappointment. Best regular-season record, league MVP in LeBron James, Coach of the Year in Mike Brown, home-court advantage, all meaningless. Just a giant setup for another Cleveland sports heartbreak. Sad thing is it's not even all that original. Two years ago the Indians posted the American League's best record, had one of the league's best players in Cy Young CC Sabathia, and had the Coach of the Year in Eric Wedge. They wound up on the doorstep of the World Series as well, locked out with the door slammed in their face.

Hey, but at least they've all still got those trophies. Three teams, one goal, one sad city.

This one even tarnished King James' crown a little bit. LeBron left the court without shaking hands with the Magic, then leaving Orlando's Amway Arena without talking to the media. Until he shares his thoughts we can only speculate that he's a couple steps closer to walking out on us. Jay-Z follows him around like a college basketball coach at a CYO game, trying to convince LeBron to move to New York City and join the Brooklyn Nets when the team opens a new arena in a few years. With our insecurities we'll be thinking that LeBron's mad at his coach for not finding a way to counter Orlando's three-point shooters, at Mo Williams for turning into a pumpkin in the playoffs, at Zydrunas Ilgauskus for not being able to find any Kryptonite, at Cleveland for being, well, Cleveland. Maybe, like us, he's thinking that his team just got exposed and the only way to fix it is to find a new team in a new city.

One that God doesn't hate.