Tuesday, August 15, 2006


Don't bet on it!

Who in their right mind would bet on the Browns to win? Heck, who in their right mind would bet on any Cleveland team to win anything? But there's your proof right there, a $40 bet at New York New York Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas on the Browns to beat the Eagles straight up in preseason action last week. No points needed for this bettor! Nope, he had total confidence that the Browns would win this game outright.

Meanwhile, the rest of us wonder why.

This is a team that lost its Pro Bowl center (LeCharles Bentley) to a blown knee on the first play of the second day of training camp. This is a team that lost its backup center (Bob Hallen) to a blown mind a couple weeks after that. This is a team down two cornerbacks (Daylon McCutcheon, Gary Baxter) and another offensive lineman (Ryan Tucker). This is a team whose free agent wide receiver addition (Joe Jurevicius) has suffered back spasms in training camp thanks to a fight. This is a team whose QB (Charlie Frye) hid a supposedly minor thumb injury for a couple days. Heck, this is a team where even the expected stars who HAVEN'T been hurt this preseason are coming off catastrophic injuries from previous years (Braylon Edwards, Kellen Winslow).

And NOW this is a team that can't even throw out its trash (Lee Suggs) without something going wrong. Gee, what a surprise that someone who has missed nearly half of his career games with injuries failed a physical.

There aren't this many injured people in a hospital.

But that's the thing about Cleveland sports fans. We're suckers. Or masochists. Really, what's the difference? Go to Cleveland Browns Stadium, Jacobs Field, The Q, or old Municipal Stadium or the Richfield Coliseum and put your heart on the line. You end up losing. Go to Las Vegas and put your money on the line, you end up losing. We're to the point where we need to call Lloyd's of London for an insurance policy on our emotions whenever we turn on a game. Most likely that would carry too high a premium, though.

One thing's for sure -- God hates Cleveland sports bettors just as much as God hates Cleveland sports. Or maybe he loves Cleveland sports bettors, because they are certain to lose, making God happy twice over. And us ever the poorer.

1 comment:

Dan said...

I came to the same conclusion last year. I bet on a Cleveland game, and that same day, I stepped in dog shit. Coincidence? I think not. So quick question then... is being a Cleveland fan sinning?