From now until the end of time, every possible hurricane or tropical storm has already been named. Each of 12 different regions already has several different lists of storm names which are rotated each year. For example, the first Atlantic Ocean hurricane of this year was named Alberto. The first Atlantic Ocean hurricane of 2011 will be named Arlene. And in 2012, the first Atlantic Ocean hurricane will be named Alberto, as this year's list comes back into play.
Perhaps it's time to set up such a list for Cleveland sports teams. ABC decided to show us our list in the closing minutes of the Cavs' Game 7 loss to the Pistons yesterday. While watching the end of Game 7, we relived The Catch, Red Right 88, The Drive, The Fumble, The Shot, and The Mesa. We can add in The Modell for the Browns' move and The Non-Catch for Grady's misplay in Kansas City next year and have ourselves a right proper list. Thanks, ABC!
Then we'll be prepared for years to come. Instead of trying to come up with new names for each of our sports disasters from now on, we just start back at the top of the list, and call the next event The Catch II. Red Right 98. The Drive II. The Next Fumble. The Second Shot. The David Modell. A Bigger Mesa. Another Non-Catch. Then let's call this latest loss The Cleveland, because it just sums up our sporting life year after year. Or how about The Sigh, because that's all we can do. Then just go back to the top of the list each time you get to the end and modify the names a bit, that should last us at least the next 50 years. Certainly past 2011.
While yesterday's Game 7 loss doesn't rival the towering infernos which have burnt down in our sporting past -- after all, it wasn't at home and the Cavs weren't favored and Jose Mesa wasn't playing -- it certainly belongs on the same stage. After all, the Cavs tied the record for fewest points in a half of a playoff game (23), and set records for fewest points in a Game 7 and a Cavs playoff game (61). If you're not going to make the loss memorable, you might as well make it historical.
For some reason, despite falling for the old Lucy-holding-the-football trick once again, fans still believe. Of course, plenty of people still believe Bill Gates is giving away money for forwarding email. No, it's just the same old, same old; the promise of a big hunk of fresh cheese and the reality of a giant mousetrap snapping down on our necks in a trap sprung by God.