Thursday, May 11, 2006

Mission even more impossible

Good morning, Mr. James. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, involves defeating the best team in the NBA in four of the next five games. They have been designated as "The Pistons." You will be aided by several teammates, none of whom is especially adept at playing defense. One of those players, Zydrunas Ilgauskas, may be MIA. You must find him, using techniques such as the pick and roll and the entry pass.

Iit is essential that more than one of your teammates be able to make an outside shot. Allowing Larry Hughes and Flip Murray to shoot 3-pointers all day leads to certain disaster. Only by driving to the basket and playing strong defense can a team advance past the first round of the NBA playoffs.

You'll have 48 minutes per game in which to defeat "The Pistons." You will be playing at The Q for the next two games, the first of which will be Saturday afternoon. As always, should any member of your team shoot poorly, foul out, or fumble a ball into the end zone at the end of the game, the fans will go into a panic and remember your actions for all time. And Mr. James, this message will self-destruct in five playoff games -- probably less.

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