A Royal mess

The Kansas City Royals have just completed their first sweep of the season, at the expense of our Indians, and everyone's surprised. But really, the surprise is just why the heck is everyone surprised?

No one's noticed, but Kansas City has turned into a veritable Bratislava for the Tribe. They go in search of good times, easy wins against the league's doormat, and hot women. Intead, they find themselves tortured, mutilated, and shot.

Here's what's happened to the Tribe in their recent trips to BratislavaKansas City:

Five straight losses to the Royals in 2006.

Grady Sizemore lost fly ball in the sun in final game of 2005, costing Indians a possible win and sending them on a weeklong slide to end the year.

Pitcher Kyle Denny shot in leg by stray bullet on bus ride to team hostelhotel after a game at end of 2004 season.

It's almost as if a Dutch businessman has arranged the Tribe's travel plans and a German doctor is treating their injuries.

Now the Indians come back home with a losing record and hopefully a half-dozen new pitchers.

If the Tribe isn't careful, fans won't be showing up for much more torture after this homestand. We've seen it way too many times. The Indians are 17-18, 7 games behind the White Sox and already 4½ behind this weekend's foe, the Detroit Tigers, for the wild-card spot. That's only one game ahead of both the 2005 and 2004 pace after 35 games. And each of the past two seasons, the Indians' frantic dash to the finish was as successful as a coed dashing away from Michael Myers. More of the same just won't fly, especially with the Cavs season almost over and the Tribe most likely all alone on the Cleveland sports stage in less than a week.