Monday, November 27, 2006

But ... but ... but ... but ...

What a disaster: Cincinnati Bengals 30, Browns 0.

It's not Charlie Frye's fault, though. He's only started 16 games, after all, equivalent to a full season. He has no offensive line. And he has no veteran quarterback to mentor him. No, no, no, no, can't blame Charlie.

It's not Braylon Edwards' fault, though. He's coming off reconstructive knee surgery. And he wants to win, really, really bad -- it's his passion. No, no, no, no, can't blame Braylon.

It's not the offensive line's fault, though. Heck, if not for LeCharles Bentley's injury and Ross Tucker's mystery illness and Bob Hallen's training-camp retirement and Maurice Carthon's stupid playcalling, the Browns would have a great offensive line! No, no, no, no, can't blame the offensive line.

It's not Reuben Droughns' fault, either. An offseason filled with drunken-driving charges and domestic-violence charges just got in his way. He would have repeated his 1,000-yard performance if not for all that, really he would have! No, no, no, no, can't blame Reuben.

It's not Maurice Carthon's fault, either. The radioactive poison of the Browns' season hasn't been anywhere near the team for a month. Still the Browns haven't scored an offensive touchdown in two weeks. No, no, no, no, can't blame Maurice Carthon.

It's not Phil Savage's fault, either. His drafts are only two years old -- give those players time to develop! You can't expect Charlie Frye to be good until he *develops*, just like Ben Roethlisberger and Tony Romo. And it's not his fault every offensive lineman signed as a free agent turned out to be more brittle than a gingerbreak cookie. No, no, no, no, can't blame Phil Savage.

It's not Romeo Crennell's fault, either. He can only do what he can with what Phil Savage gives him. And what's Romeo supposed to do, throw Braylon Edwards off the team next time he says something stupid. Fine him??? No, no, no, no, can't blame Romeo.

It's not Randy Lerner's fault, either. He's been busy, spending time with his European soccer team. He's distracted! Don't worry, he'll turn his attention back to the Browns soon enough. It's not like he only owns the Browns because he inherited them from his dad or anything like that. No, no, no, no, can't blame Randy Lerner.

Really, how can you blame anyone for the Browns' awful season? It's just bad luck! They're on the right path. Just give them time.

Like 40 more years.

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