Tuesday, December 12, 2006

What would Troy do?

By mayoral decree, Wednesday is Troy Smith Day in Cleveland.

If your name is Troy or your name is Smith, you can do whatever you want to do in Cleveland today. And if your name is Troy Smith, and you went to Glenville High School, and you just won the Heisman Trophy, well, line up the photographers and news crews.

On Troy Smith's agenda is a return to Glenville at 3 p.m., where he'll celebrate his Heisman victory and Ohio State's unbeaten season and national championship shot with his neighbors and friends. He'll be feted, he'll be photographed, he'll be filmed.

Most likely, there will be many other things Troy Smith will be doing around Cleveland on Troy Smith Day. You can expect to see a report on Troy Smith Day leading the 11 o'clock news, with pictures of everything Troy Smith did on Troy Smith Day in Cleveland.

Here's the early odds on what you can expect to see Troy Smith doing on the 11 o'clock news:

TROY SMITH SHAKING LEBRON JAMES' HAND -- Even odds
-- Lebron is Cleveland's sports ambassador. The Cavs play a home game against the Charlotte Bobcats Wednesday. Perhaps Troy Smith is Cleveland's next sports ambassador. The twain should meet.

TROY SMITH SHAKING CHARLIE FRYE'S INJURED HAND -- 30/1
-- Some want Troy Smith to take Charlie Frye's job. Heck, some want Derek Anderson to take Charlie Frye's job. Charlie Frye probably isn't too interested in meeting his possible future competition.

TROY SMITH RIDING A FIRE TRUCK -- 35/1
-- Doesn't the hero son always ride a fire truck during his festivities?

TROY SMITH SITTING COURTSIDE AT THE CAVS GAME -- 100/1
-- We all know Troy Smith can't afford Cavaliers courtside seats. Heck, he can probably barely afford the $10 seats that would put him three rows from the sun. Since he already paid his penance for accepting money from a booster, Troy's certainly loathe to be seen on the 11 o'clock news sitting right behind Lebron James during the Cavs game ... right?

TROY SMITH VISITING MAURICE CLARETT IN JAIL -- 1,000/1
-- Paying Maurice's cell-phone bill got Troy in enough trouble already!

TROY SMITH RIDING KELLEN WINSLOW's MOTORCYCLE -- 3,500/1
-- At least wear a helmet if you do, Troy.

TROY SMITH IN A "GOD HATES CLEVELAND SPORTS" HAT -- 5,000/1
-- Although he's from Cleveland, Troy Smith's team isn't hated by God because it plays in Columbus. But if the Browns select Troy Smith in the draft next April, he'll find out all about what God thinks.

4 comments:

Andy said...

Nice one. I used to think God hated Troy Smith's team (before he was on it), because I went to that school in the 90s and watched my heart get ripped out of my chest at the 13-9 Michigan game the same way it was used to being destroyed by the rest of my favorite teams from Cleveland. I am thinking you are right though... not hated any more (or the other stuff was coincidence).

Ben said...

I'd love to have Troy Smith here... but I'd also like a defensive line and an offensive line... and linebackers that can make tackles for losses... and a running back...

sammy said...

Troy Smith is definitely not at airport security.

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