Friday, May 29, 2009

God Hates Cleveland Sports hates this guy

While we all know that God hates Cleveland sports -- and we here know it better than anyone else -- there's no sense in being mean about it. There's no sense in showing us The Shot, The Fumble, and the 1997 World Series all in one clip, with play-by-play from the events.

There's no need to remind us that we haven't won anything since before the Cavaliers were even a glimmer in Nick Mileti's eyes.

There's no need to steal the name of this blog for evil use. There really isn't.

Figures the guy who made this is a Boston fan. Boston fans think the sports universe dates back to 2001. Boston fans think sports were invented just to give them something to do. Boston fans think Red Sox Nation extends beyond Worcester.

Cleveland fans used to have something in common with Boston fans. We suffered our fates. We stoically endured our teams' miserable failures and vowed to get 'em again next year, every year. We named our sports failures. We hugged our fathers and grandfathers and vowed that we would enjoy a championship with them by our sides, someday.

Then the Patriots became a dynasty. Then the Red Sox shook off their curse. Then the Celtics stole Kevin Garnett from the Minnesota Timberwolves. And Boston fans became more annoying than head lice.

Let's make a pact. If LeBron James can carry the Cavs to a title this year, Cleveland fans should vow to never become miserable winners like Boston fans have become. Hell, if any Cleveland team can win any championship ever that should be our vow. Cleveland fans have standards, and the newest one should be we'd rather be losers in Cleveland than miserable winners in Boston. At least that way we could still live with ourselves.

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