Dance girls

gone wild

42 years and counting since our last championship, and now even our cheerleaders can't get it done. In the NBA Dance Team Bracket run by NBA.com, the Cavalier Girls didn't even make it out of the first round. Apparently our women aren't even hot enough! That they lost to the Magic Dancers from Orlando might be easy to take -- after all, aren't women from Florida SUPERhot? -- if only the Magic Dancers hadn't to the FREAKING NEW JERSEY NET DANCERS in Round 2.

Sorry, but nothing from New Jersey is remotely attractive. It's a good state for musicians, what with Bruce Springsteen and Bon Jovi and the Fountains of Wayne, but hot chicks? They call it the Garden State for a reason, and that's to trick everyone into thinking it's a decent place to live. There wasn't even a real reason to name New Jersey the Garden State, as Governor Robert Meynor pointed out when he vetoed the idea. He was overruled, New Jersey became the Garden State, and now their "hot" chicks are winning NBA Dance Team Bracket contests.

Losing to Florida girls, acceptable. But when the Florida girls then go on to lose an attractiveness contest to girls from New Jersey, you know there's some higher power at work.