Big shock from Big Papi

The only thing surprising about Big Papi's three-run, walk-off shot against Indians' "closer" Fausto Carmona is that anyone's actually surprised.

After his blast that gave the Red Sox a 9-8 victory Monday night, Ortiz now has five game-winning hits this season. He has 15 such hits in three seasons with the Red Sox, including nine walkoff homers. Monday night's blast will certainly be added to this montage very soon.

Really, team up God and David Ortiz against the Indians, and you have a duo as effective as Batman and Robin, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Brooks & Dunn, and Crockett and Tubbs. It's not a fair fight. It's the ultimate pairing they had in mind when they created the Marvel Team Up comic book. Heck, Ortiz just knocked in the winning run in the 11th inning against the Los Angeles Angels two nights ago. Even a hack could have written this script.

Now it's seven runs allowed in 1.1 innings over the last two games by our "closer." A byproduct of the Bob Wickman trade was finding out if Fausto could close. Guess what? If there's an open window somewhere, Fausto Carmona couldn't be trusted to close it.

There's only one closer in Cleveland right now. His name is God. He's closing the door on our sports hopes and dreams on a daily basis. And what with the 100 degree temperatures, it feels like our own sports hell right now.