Thursday, July 27, 2006

What'd you expect?

We're shocked. We're speechless. We're incredulous. We're stunned.

But surprised? Heck, no.

As far back as March, LeCharles Bentley should have known. As far back as 42 years, we've known. Good things just don't happen to our sports teams here, no matter what. And if you couldn't have predicted that Bentley, the Browns' top free agent signing in years, would be carted off the field with a serious knee injury during the team's second day of training camp, you just aren't paying attention to Cleveland sports. This the same day The Plain Dealer labeled Bentley a "luxurious necessity."

On the message boards, they are writing {slams head into desk}, "feels like someone stuck a knife in my stomach," "I f'n quit", and "I hate God for this." Hey, come on over and join us around the campfire, folks!

Hey, at least the Indians don't have to worry about the remaining fans abandoning them because of Browns fever!

Look, if you needed ANY further proof that God hates Cleveland sports, you got it today. Some advice for LeBron James -- pull the covers up as far as you can and close your eyes. Don't get out of bed until training camp. Oh, wait. Better make that the regular season. Even then, look both ways twice before crossing the street, check your brake lines before driving, and hold your breath until your contract runs out.


Ben said...

welcome home LeCharles

dick slap said...

Serves him right for signing with freaking Cleveland. Why don't you people come over from the dark side and be Steeler fans

Anonymous said...

Out for the season

chris said...

I wish Steeler fans would quit posting on sites that discuss Cleveland sports. Piss off! Teams make their own luck....not exactly a Browns specialty

Anonymous said...

Wait, are we supposed to cheer for the same team as a guy who calls himself 'Dick Slap'?

Anonymous said...

Mike, please, give it up. This is just the beginning. Winslow can catch a 3 yard pass, but watch him--he still looks like he is running in a hole with each second step.

Whatever bad can happen, will happen. Accept this. Live with it.
There is no hope.

Their first round draft choice will be a bust. Washington will be injured before the season starts. Edwards will limp on the field in October and be injured almost immediately.

It has nothing to do with God. It has to do that Cleveland pro teams suck.

It's the Lake Erie water. Very poisoneus.

Give up all hope. It will never, ever, happen in your lifetime.

Accept it and be free.

[Bentely came to camp overweight and out of shape and got whacked because of it.]

TVBrain said...

He was trying to open a hole for a wife beater when he ran into a 400 pound washed up nose tackle.
A few years ago I thought up one of those suicide style pools where everyone drafts a Browns OL on the first day of camp. Last man standing wins. I shoulda got it going earlier.

redhorse said...

un-freakin-real. just can't explain this, but you're right, I'm feeling appalled and that I should have known it was coming simultaneously.

Anonymous said...

FVCK - everyone needs to quit complaining - we will prevail above this!

dick slap said...

The Browns suck and have no chance this year. You Browns fans are pathetic. Why don't you just join me in cheering for the Pittsburgh Steelers this year, especially since we'll be hoisting ANOTHER Super Bowl banner.

Anonymous said...

i have been a dedicated atheist and cleveland sports fan for many years but each time something like this happens it brings me just a little closer to believing in god. So now i can say with relative confidence that either god does NOT exist, or he's a fucking asshole from Pittsburgh (probably a family member of the above Pittsburgh assholes.)

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