Friday, July 28, 2006

Looking on
the bright side

So much negativity on the Cleveland sports scene these days. The Cavs choked away a playoff series against the Detoit Pistons. We sat by the telephone longer than we should have waiting for Lebron to call us for an extended date, only to find out he's not sticking around for the maximum. Now we listen to conspiracy theories that put Lebron, Dwayne Wade, Chris Bosh, Superman, the inventor of the Internet, and the cast of Lost in New York for the 2010-11 season. The Indians folded like lawn chairs. And the Browns season ended before it began.

And that's only in the last couple months.

To all that we say RUBBISH! It's time to look on the right side of Cleveland sports. But danger! It's so bright over there you could BURN YOUR EYES OUT if you're not careful. So grab one of those pinhole cameras used for viewing a solar eclipse and check out all the great things going on in Cleveland right now:

* BE SECURE in your knowledge that the ground still cannot cause a fumble, only rare, franchise-devastating, fan-crushing patellar tendon ruptures!

* WATCH Ben Broussard hit three homers at Jacobs Field tonight -- for the Seattle Mariners!

* LISTEN to Tribe broadcaster Tom Hamilton try to pronounce names like Shin-Soo Choo and Maximiliano Ramirez.

* PREPARE for the Browns and Steelers to renew their rivalry, which no one with Time Warner (nee Adelphia) cable will be able to watch on Dec. 7 because the cable system is dropping the NFL Network!

* MARVEL at the ability of Indians GM Mark Shapiro and assistant GM Chris Antonetti make trade after trade without using the word "rebuilding"!

* GASP at the power of God as He demonstrates His hatred of Cleveland sports again and again and again ...


Raiden said...

Actually, those who are unfortunate enough to have Time Warner will still see the game on local TV. Part of the NFL Network deal was that all games would be locally broadcast on their normal networks as well so that the local markets that don't have NFL Network wouldn't get screwed.

Of course, the entire city of Cleveland could potentially send a big "FUCK YOU" to the execs at Time Warner and just switch to Dish Network or DirecTV, but then you KNOW that during the game, it'd be the one time there was a thunderstorm in December covering most of the viewing area (except around the stadium, of course), thus preventing most of those customers from seeing the game anyways.

We can't win, we're Cleveland...

Veronica said...

Your blog is one of the funniest things that I've read in ages--and not just because I am a Steelers fan! Cleveland teams DO seem to be cursed.

Hang in there, and keep up the great work!