It's next season, and we're still the White Sox's bitch.
We had to sit there Sunday night like outcasts at the high schol dance watching the quarterback dance with the girl we have a crush on as the White Sox received their World Series rings. Then we watched C.C. Sabathia walk off the mound and onto the disabled list. And THEN we had to sit through a three-hour rain delay, just to watch Jim Thome drop a predictable homer into Lake Michigan on the one pitch our supposed closer of the future put over the plate.
And people were worried the Indians wouldn't have their new channel ready in time for the regular season? We should have been begging them NOT to put this on our televisions.
The only thing surprising about the Indians' season opener is that Jim Thome didn't homer until his third at-bat.
Sunday night's script wasn't one of those they wouldn't be able to sell in Hollywood. It was as believable as the sun rising in the east and setting in the west. In fact, it was written last Thanksgiving, when the White Sox traded for Thome. Two people knew it at the time:
“I predict Jim Thome is going to have a Jim Thome year next season,” (Phillies manager Charlie) Manuel said. “He’s in top-notch shape and is still as good a hitter as he ever was.” “I’m disappointed to see him in our division,” (Indians) GM Mark Shapiro said. “The White Sox gave up a lot. They took a risk, but it’s a trade that could have a very high ceiling.”
And we've even seen this acted out before. After the Indians traded Bartolo Colon to the Expos halfway through the 2002 season, they turned around and flipped him to the White Sox in January 2003. In 2003, Colon went 2-1 against the Indians, including a victory in the Tribe's home opener. He's gone on to win 53 games and a Cy Young since.
Then there's Sabathia, who apparently strained the only muscle in his body for the second year in a row. He went on the disabled list Tuesday morning. "I don't know what caused it," said Sabathia.
Here's what caused it, C.C. -- YOU ARE FAT! That, coupled with God's distate for Cleveland sports, has you at the top of the list for injuries every year.
But really, it's probably a good thing that Sabathia left the game early. If he stayed in, Jim Thome most likely would have lined a shot off Sabathia's head that ended up bouncing over the fence for a home run, leaving our "ace" lying on the mound with a broken skull.
Only 17 more games against the White Sox!