Cleveland MVPs

are DOA

The Lebron James-for-MVP talk is now hotter than Paris Hilton in a car wash, and just in time for the Cavs' clash with the Detroit Pistons tonight. Front and center on ESPN at 8 p.m., Lebron states his candidacy for MVP.

He certainly brings plenty of credentials. The Sporting News says Lebron's stats are comparable to Jordan in his prime. The Asbury Park Press ays Lebron's on pace to become the fourth player to average 31 ppg, 7 rpg, and 6 apg. The Akron Beacon Journal's Brian Windhorst says the Cavs late-season surge makes him a serious MVP contender.

But here's what God says -- Lebron plays for a Cleveland team. And that trumps all.

In the last 40 years, only Brian Sipe (1980 NFL MVP), Gaylord Perry (1972 AL Cy Young) and The Old Man (Christmas Story) have won major awards in Cleveland. Sipe capped his MVP season with a playoff interception that became known as Red Right 88. The Old Man's wife "accidentally" broke his leg lamp after he put it in the front window. And Perry, well, he's notorious for cheating his way to 314 wins and the Hall of Fame with his spitter.

Major awards and this city don't exactly fit together like Hall & Oates, Lennon and McCarthy, or, say, Cleveland and sports championships. Even Sipe's award was a fluke; 1980 was the only outstanding year of his career. He's more well-known for throwing the interception to Oakland's Mike Davis than for leading the Browns to that spot in the playoffs.

So perhaps tonight we shouldn't be rooting for Lebron to punk Chauncey Billups and serve notice to the Pistons that the King is claiming his throne. If he does, he likely will go the way of Segway, the Rockers, and Super Joe Charboneau. Remember any of them? Exactly!