Sorry, LeCharlie

As LeCharles Bentley has found out, it's just as dangerous playing for a Cleveland sports team as it is rooting for one. Of course it took him only two days of training camp to find out; the rest of us have learned it over the past 42 years.

LeCharles is now out for the season, thanks to a snapped patellar tendon. He might end up being lucky if he's only out for the 2006 season. Not only is he a very large man, making recovery from such an injury much more difficult, but God doesn't like anything good happening to Cleveland teams.

With that in mind, here are a few things LeCharles can do during training camp next season to try and stay healthy:

* Lead a rally to change the team name to the Akron Browns
* Stay away from Ted Washington
* Wear the red "don't touch me!" jersey the quarterbacks wear.
* Yell, "Look, there's Art Modell!" if he feels any danger.
* Sign with the Chargers. San Diego's about as far away from Cleveland as you can get.
* Ride his motorcycle without wearing a helmet. Very fast. On city streets. In Pittsburgh.
* Pray to God -- oh, wait!!!!