Sunday, April 30, 2006




Hanging our bobbleheads in shame

The Indians were on ESPN, the Cavs were on TNT, but only three letters mattered.

GOD.

If God were a programming director, every night would look like last night in Cleveland. There were the Cavs on TNT, blowing a 13-point lead against the Washington Wizards and losing by 10 to even their best-of-7 first-round playoff series at two games apiece. There were the Indians on ESPN, blowing a four-run lead against the Texas Rangers and losing two out of three to finish April 4½ games behind the Chicago White Sox. And both at the exact same time.

What started as a promising weekend with wins by both the Cavs and Indians Friday night and a good day of drafting by the Browns Saturday took a turn more wicked than Dead Man's Curve. When 37,000-plus turned out for Grady Sizemore bobblehead night at Jacobs Field Saturday night -- Grady's Ladies were disappointed three times over Saturday night. Not only did the Grady bobblehead look more like the guy who bought the ticket to sit in centerfield than the guy who plays in centerfield, but it made the guy who bought the ticket to sit in centerfield look like he couldn't make it to the bathroom in time. Then the bobblehead morphed into a voodoo doll when Grady went 1-for-5 and was doubled off first base on a lineout to end the game.

Last night it got worse. The Cavs built a 13-point lead, watched it slip away by the end of the third quarter, then lost by 10. The Indians built a 4-1 lead after six innings, then watched their bullpen implode (again) in a six-run seventh as the Rangers wound up winning by four. A discriminating TV viewer could actually switch away from the Cavs game just after Antawn Jamison made his 3-pointer to give the Wizards the fourth-quarter lead and pick up the Indians game midway through the sixth-inning disaster. Welcome to the Titanic, I'm your captain, God!

At least none of the Browns draft picks has been injured. Yet.

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