Super suck

First Art Modell. Then Bill Belichick. Now Bill Cowher. Disgusted yet, Browns fans? Our arch-enemies have defeated us once again. The club that Plain Dealer reporter John Petkovic calls the al-Qaida of sports teams has claimed its fifth Super Bowl title before the Browns have even played in one.

And not only did the Steelers win it all, but they did it with Ohio boy Ben Roethlisberger under center. Roethlisberger is from Findlay, which was Browns territory until his scraggly beard turned them to the dark side. He played ball at Miami University -- you know, the one in the MAC. Then the Browns and several other teams passed on him, until the Steelers took him and then NEVER LOST ANOTHER GAME! Or at least won most of them. Roethlisberger is now 23-3 as a starting QB in his career. The Browns have won just 36 games since rising from the dead in 1999.

Let's see, if Benny is 4 years old and his sister is three years older, at what age will Benny be when he is half as old as his sister? Carry the one, divide by something, and it looks like Big Ben will catch the new Browns in wins by 2007. God will most certainly still hate Cleveland then.